Tell her she can't have a vagina
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
