When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize