Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize