He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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