so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I DEMAND FORESKIN
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
