It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
