I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
