he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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