i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
