You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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