I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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