I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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