I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
