your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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