he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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