So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
