toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
