Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
