I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
