Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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