I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
