I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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