I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
