I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
