Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
