I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
