i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Randomize
