i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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