Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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