wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
The beer is more important than you right now.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
