I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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