why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
