my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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