It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
