Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
