That's when you crack a 10am beer
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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