This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
