we were pretty classy up until the second keg
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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