And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
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