Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
