You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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