Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I just found puke in my bra..
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
