I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
