Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
