69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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