we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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