Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
