I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
