glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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