u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
