do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
you will always have a special place in my vag
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
