I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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