After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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