ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
