508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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