When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize