i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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