You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
