thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize