Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
