I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
home. puking in laundry basket.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
