But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
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