don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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